The Pressure from the Sideline

When the Pressure Takes Over: What Young Athletes Need From Parents and Coaches

By Carson Kim

Athletes are constantly told to push themselves, work harder, and achieve more. There is a lot of pressure to take advantage of every opportunity to improve and reach their goals. As a young high school athlete, I have come to realize that wanting to succeed at a sport is what drives athletes to work so hard.

But athletes can also reach a breaking point. When someone devotes so much of themselves to a sport, they can begin to worry about letting other people down. After a game, whether it was a win or a loss, an athlete might replay everything they did wrong. They may worry about how their coach and parents perceive them.

For my psychology research paper, I explored how pressure from parents and coaches relates to athletes’ psychological well-being, including anxiety and burnout. I wanted to understand how people who support athletes and want them to reach their full potential can sometimes add to their stress—and affect their love for the game.

What I Learned About Pressure

Anxiety can show up in several ways. Athletes may worry about failure or making mistakes, and they may experience physical symptoms such as muscle tightness or a racing heart before games. Burnout involves feeling physically and emotionally exhausted, questioning whether the effort is paying off, and losing interest in participating.

What stood out to me is that an athlete can spend years working to improve and eventually stop enjoying the sport. They might still attend practices and compete, even though their motivation has changed. The people around them may not realize how they are feeling.

Cho and colleagues (2019) studied the relationship between controlling coaching behaviors, competitive anxiety, and burnout in college athletes. They found connections among these factors. Although college athletes and high school athletes have different experiences, the study raises a question that matters at both levels: How does the way a coach communicates affect the athlete receiving the message?

Bonavolontà and colleagues (2021) surveyed 80 young male soccer players about their parents’ involvement. The players wanted more praise and understanding and less pressure and involvement. This finding shows why it is worth asking athletes what they need. What a parent believes is helpful may feel different to the athlete.

Gao and colleagues (2024) reviewed 29 studies examining parents’ roles in young athletes’ motivation. Their findings highlighted the value of positive relationships, moderate involvement, support for athletes’ choices, and an emphasis on improvement. Parents play an important role, and the way they express their support matters.

My paper also discussed self-determination theory, which emphasizes three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and connection. In sports, that means having a meaningful voice, feeling capable of improving, and knowing that you belong.

Several of these studies used surveys collected at one point in time. They show relationships between pressure and athletes’ experiences, rather than proving that pressure alone causes anxiety or burnout. Still, they offer useful ideas for how adults can support young athletes.

For Parents: Ask What Helps

Parents and family members support athletes by attending games, purchasing equipment, driving to practices, and rearranging their schedules. That commitment matters. However, an athlete may experience a conversation after a game differently than a parent intends.

Before reviewing mistakes, ask whether the athlete wants to talk. They may have already replayed those moments in their head and need some time to process what happened. A simple question like “Do you want to talk about the game now or later?” can give them that space.

Based on the findings in my paper, here are a few practical ideas for parents:

• Ask what kind of support they want. Some athletes want to discuss a game right away, while others need time. Ask what helps them instead of assuming every athlete needs the same response.

• Recognize effort beyond winning or losing. Notice preparation, improvement, and being a good teammate. These parts of an athlete’s development deserve attention alongside the final score.

• Let your child help set the goals. Ask what they want from their sport and how you can support them. Their goals may change over time, so keep the conversation open.

• Pay attention to changes in attitude. An athlete who once looked forward to practice may begin to feel differently. Ask what has changed and listen before assuming they are no longer willing to work hard.

The question I would encourage parents to ask is: “What do I do that helps you, and what do I do that adds pressure?” Being willing to hear the answer can help parents better understand the athlete they are trying to support.